How to Move Abroad with Kids

Back in 2016, before my husband and I packed up all of our things, and our 9- and 13-year-old sons, and moved from Wyoming to Spain, we had no idea how much we’d need to do to shift our lives across an ocean. From schools to sports to food, from culture and language to creating a sense of normalcy—I had no idea where to start or even what questions to ask.

But all these years later I can say with confidence that moving abroad with kids has been one of the smartest things I’ve ever done, and one of the most exciting things we’ve ever done as a family. That, however, does not mean the planning and execution were simple.

Far from it, in fact. And today, as an expat mother in Andalucia with years of firsthand experience, I’m delighted to be able to help others navigate the ins and outs of international relocation, and to share my insights to help make your big move as smooth and easy as possible.

Start with Education

Few decisions have a bigger impact on the success of your move, and your children, than where you enroll your kids in school. School is where your kids will spend most of their time, do most of their learning and form the backbone of their social lives.

It’s absolutely foundational to who they will become, so it requires a good deal of research and consideration. Consider the distance and their daily transport journey, the number of students, the range of nationalities represented, as well as the extra curricular activities and academic focus, making sure these align with your young students as much as possible.

Keep in mind that it’s unlikely any one school will tick all the boxes to perfection. If their new school were to teach in an unfamiliar language, would your child be able to ride out the learning gaps that are likely to occur as they build their language skills?

And how do you think you’ll feel about leaving their native language behind in an academic sense? Speaking it at home is different from advancing their reading and writing skills.

Age matters here. Younger kids learn languages more quickly and have time to recover from any learning loss, while high schoolers face higher stakes. Jumping into a foreign-language curriculum should be done before 9th grade, unless your teen is exceptionally motivated.

Research your options before you move, and have a backup plan. Knowing what’s available and thinking through your child’s specific needs can make a world of difference.

Speaking of Language Barriers

Language is often a hurdle socially as well as academically. While many parents love the idea of language immersion, living in a place where you can’t easily communicate with friends and neighbors can be a real struggle. Thus, it’s best to prepare for it in advance—practically as well as emotionally.

No matter how resilient your kids are, set them up for success before the move. Instead of piling on extra schoolwork with online language classes, try something fun. The summer before we moved, my kids joined a weeklong soccer camp taught entirely in Spanish. It was active, engaging, and gave them invaluable exposure to the language through an activity they loved.

If this kind of activity isn’t an option for you, little things like extra screen time watching movies in the new language can help. So can translations of books and audiobooks your kids already love—knowing the story will let them follow the plot and pick up fresh vocabulary along the way.

These solutions don’t have to be perfect—the goal is to get them familiar with the sounds and rhythm of the language. You’ll be surprised just how much of a difference a bit of exposure makes, especially with younger learners.

Embrace Their Interests

Your child’s personality is sure to influence how they adapt—and not always in ways you’d expect. You might assume your outgoing child will dive right into a new social circle, but language barriers and cultural differences can leave even the most extroverted kids feeling isolated at first.

On the flip side, an introverted child might thrive as a language gap makes a natural buffer to enjoy their alone time without pressure. The best thing you can do is build a bridge from their current interests to the new environment.

If they love soccer, ballet, painting, or basketball, find ways for them to continue those activities right away—whether in the foreign language or your native one. They’ll take comfort in knowing they haven’t lost what they love, and will forge a path to making new friends.

What’s Culture Shock?

Culture shock is hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but it’s still worth discussing—especially with older kids. Explain to them how “what’s cool” or “normal” back home might be different now, and let them know it’s okay to feel mixed emotions.

They might love some of the changes but miss certain things from home, too. When we moved to Sevilla, my older son (13 at the time) loved how kids hung out in the plazas on weekend nights. But over time, he missed hanging out in friends’ homes like he used to. It was a tough adjustment in a city where small apartments made hosting groups not the norm.

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For teens, it’s especially important to talk about cultural norms and what’s acceptable—not just socially but legally. Things that seem like harmless fun back home could be frowned upon or even illegal in your new country. Have the conversation before the move to help them avoid surprises and feel more confident navigating their new environment.

Having “The Conversation”

Last year, new clients of mine sat down at dinner, thrilled to tell their kids (ages 10 and 12) that their Spanish visas had been approved. Their excitement wasn’t exactly shared—both kids stormed off, one in tears, crying, “Why are you doing this to us?!” The parents were left wondering if their big dream was actually a huge mistake.

From my own experience moving my kids to Spain “against their will,” I’ve learned this: Be clear on your reasons for the move. Kids might push back—especially if the move isn’t for work—but your clarity will help you stay grounded.

Have compassionate conversations about their concerns, and don’t underestimate how much fear of the unknown might be fueling their reaction. Whenever possible, invite your kids to participate in the research. Listen respectfully, but remind them gently that as parents, this is ultimately your decision, not theirs.

Balancing empathy with firm boundaries can ease their fears and help them feel secure, especially if they’re not on board right away.

The Housing Conundrum

Are you the consummate planner who loves mapping out every detail, or more a go with the flow type? Whatever your parenting style, moving abroad will stretch your comfort zone. In my experience, balance is key: plan enough to ease the transition, but leave room to adapt as the new setting reveals itself.

Many families plan to rent an Airbnb while they house-hunt. My husband and I tried that,  and let me tell you—it was a disaster. Between the stress of juggling house-hunting, navigating a new city, and trying to keep our kids comfortable in a temporary setup, it quickly became overwhelming.

Then, due to the impending arrival of new guests, we had to check out of our first short-term rental a couple hours after dropping the boys off for their first day of school.

By the time we finally found a decent long-term place—one we felt pressured to take with our check-out date looming—we were exhausted. Things only got worse from there: we showed up at the front door, only to find they’d given us keys that didn’t work.

Once we finally got in, we found the place hadn’t been cleaned and discovered several maintenance problems, such as faulty windows, a missing toilet seat, and broken AC units. That experience taught me the value of securing long-term housing in advance when possible.

Yes, securing a long-term lease from an ocean away can be a challenge, particularly if you don’t know anybody in your destination. But after what happened to us, I still think it’s worth the effort, even if only to secure a three- or six-month rental.

This will buy you time to search for your new home without the ticking clock of a short-term rental check-out date. Might you find the perfect spot two weeks after arrival after already paying a few months’ rent? It’s possible, but unlikely. As I often tell my clients, any money saved trying to avoid a longer vacation rental commitment tends to be lost in time and stress.

The psychological benefit—especially for older kids—of showing up in your new country and saying “hey kids, we’re home!” is invaluable. However you slice it, moving kids abroad is sure to challenge your inner control freak.

Some things—like immigration paperwork, banking, or buying the right-sized sheets—simply will not go as planned. Budget for the unexpected, yet remember that flexibility is part of the adventure, so go easy on yourself when things aren’t perfect.

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What to Pack

Packing, too, requires a balanced approach. For short-term moves, bring the essentials and a few personal touches. For longer relocations, consider shipping larger items. 

That said, even for shorter stays, bring things that make your new home feel familiar. A small piece of artwork, a few favorite toys, or family photos can go a long way.

One tip: Bring digital copies of photos adorning your living spaces at home, print them out when you arrive, and recreate your wall of memories in your new place. It’s a small gesture, but it can help everyone feel more grounded.

Finding Your Post-Move Groove

Summertime moves are great for trying local activities, like surf camps or street soccer. Introduce your kids to local foods, but balance it by cooking their favorite comfort meals at home. It’s about making the new feel exciting without overwhelming them.

Arriving a few weeks before school starts can make a big difference. It gives everyone time to adjust, settle in and explore the new environment before the routines kick in.

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One smart move is to quickly find a go-to family spot, like a café, pizza place, or bakery. My family stumbled upon a casual tapas bar near our first Airbnb and soon became regulars. The waitstaff was very welcoming and though they mostly served Spanish food, they had a hamburger and fries on the menu, which my kids very much appreciated.

Over time, we left that place behind as it was more oriented to tourists than locals. The place you choose might not be your go-to hangout forever, but going out together regularly and being recognized by locals can be a potent comfort in those early days.

It’s All Worth It

Remember to lean into what makes your new country special. For my soccer-loving sons, seeing live La Liga games was a huge win. Finding something local that excites your kids goes a long way in helping them embrace their new country.

Moving abroad with kids is a massive challenge, but the rewards are worth it. Fear-inducing “What have I done?!” moments are an inevitable part of the process, but if you’ve done your due diligence and prepared yourself and your family, you’ll be able to get past them. 

Both my sons had their share of “Thank you for ruining my life!” comments, but now, neither would trade their time abroad for anything. Be prepared, stay flexible, and trust the adventure—it’s one your whole family will remember for a lifetime.

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Jackie Baxa moved to Sevilla, Spain, with her husband and two sons in 2016 and now advises people looking to follow in their footsteps. Visit Family Move Abroad for more info.